" ... as the program has been funded solely through act of Congress and for the benefit of the American people and the people of every nation. The extreme and some might say, mean-spirited, nature of the proposed cuts has left the NASA Administration bewildered and deeply concerned for the ability of the American space program to continue as an effective agent of innovation and exploration for the truly "last frontier" of space.
The proud tradition of our program is one of bravery in the face of adversity, redoubled efforts in the face of daunting technological challenges. One can only conclude that the massive and crippling budgetary cutbacks reflect the short-sightedness and dismissive attitude recently displayed by yourselves and your esteemed colleagues when you treated public education as "an unnecessary expense and burden on taxpayers who should be able to select education options in a manner dictated by the marketplace, and not by academic elitists who wish to preserve an antiquated and expensive system, predicated on the view that Government must dictate to the American people where and how they are to be educated, and whether or not the faith they embrace is appropriate to provide a comprehensive and family-positive passage into adulthood for our children, and for generations to come".
This pedantic nonsense defies rational explanation, or any semblance of a thoughtful consideration of the issues at hand. It would seem that the blatant exploitation of public office for the purposes of promoting a subversively zealous and separatist agenda has left not only the Constitution in ruins, but has the the long-term potential to reduce America - once a leader in the empowerment of all its citizens, through education and opportunities provided to every individual, regardless of race, creed, color, or gender associations - to a landscape of babbling constituents, led by a cabal of malicious opportunists and charlatans, hell-bent on squeezing every drop of decency and self-sacrifice from a nation of uneducated, gullible, ineffectual luddites, drinking this potion of integrity and national pride like a tequila shot, and pissing it into a Senate urinal, along with a highly suspect trace level of cocaine and viagra.
That being said, it is the decision of the NASA Administration, to divorce itself from the whims and caprices of a government that has abandoned the American dream of democracy and --- well, never mind, you're a bunch of lawyers, you get the point.
I'll put this as plainly as possible. We're going into business for ourselves. We are arranging financing - regrettably, in light of our past support from the citizens of the United States and a Congress until recently dedicated to the --- - fuck it. You're on your own. We're teaming up with SUPER O COLA and the SUPER O family of companies. And they've got BILLIONS. And they've got some really talented people. Hell, the SUPER O COLA mail boy could keep the CIA running with one hand tied behind his back. I've met him - you don't mess with that.
If you're thinking about deploying the National Guard, we have missiles --- lots of missiles. So stay away. We're exploring space and you idiots can fend for yourselves. We have the best minds of our time onboard and we don't need your ilk for anything. We have desalinators, waste extractors, fuel refineries and an underground network of bases, fully equipped with a WWW3 network with 1024 bit encryption and full fiber optics. Bet you weren't expecting that. Stupid assholes.
In summary, you jerks can take a PT385 up the ass (if you didn't know, if you paid any attention to the appropriations bills for anything other than your moronic "bibles for babies" initiative, you'd know that a PT385 is an interstellar booster rocket prototype that we plan to test launch on the Senate chambers. This Thursday. So you might want to adjourn for a few days. You stupid fucks.
Warmest Regards,
General Len Stanislaw, USAF
NASA SUPER O COLA SPACE CENTER
Houston, Texas
